-exist-

 cease to exist.

realised that there’s no point in keeping a blog if i’m not going to do anything with it..thus with immediate effect this is no longer in use..
gone-do
finito
ke-pish
byebye

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in loving memory..

since as far back as i can remember
i always had a love hate relationship with my granny
i hated her for always coming to my room and making it all neat
i hated the way she called my name in chinese
i hated the smell of her medicated oil
but more than that the hates was what i loved about her
that caring granny of mine
i loved her strength
her courage
her humour
her determination
but most of all despite all my hates for her
i loved her..
i still do….

Continue reading

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cheap thrill

i knew about mentos and coke but seriously i never would have thought of this

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKoB0MHVBvM]

NEVER..

hahaha..check it out..

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stirrrrrrr…….

been having the runs the entire day..must have been something i ate..

to the toilet i go again…bye…

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ojt

so i finally get to lie down after working non-stop for i don’t know how long.

ojt is not fun at all..

not one bit.

OUCH…

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what is real ,and just a dream.

song playing :lifehouse -somewhere in between
headache/thoughts

I cant be losing sleep over this, no I cant
And now I can not stop pacing
Give me a few hours, Ill have all this sorted out
If my mind would just stop racing

Cause I cannot stand still
I cant be this unsteady
This cannot be happening

This is over my head but underneath my feet
Cuz by tomorrow morning Ill have this thing beat
And everything will be back to the way that it was
I wish that it was just that easy

Cuz Im waiting for tonight
Then waiting for tomorrow
And Im somewhere in between
What is real, and just a dream
What is real, and just a dream
What is real, and just a dream

Would you catch me if I fall out of what I fell in
Dont be surprised if I collapse down at your feet again
I dont want to run away from this
I know that I just dont need this

Cause I cannot stand still
I cant be this unsteady
This cannot be happening

Cuz Im waiting for tonight
Then waiting for tomorrow
And Im somewhere in between
What is real, and just a dream
What is real, and just a dream
What is real, and just a dream

——————————————————————————————————————-

no i won’t collapse at your feet
and i don’t need you to catch me.
don’t worry..

i believe i can say that you’re another first for me.

——————————————————————————————————————-

lots been happening in my life
i don’t know where to start
but i guess all i can say of me right now,
my leg’s aching from exhaustion
my head hurts like crap for a reason i now regret.
but yes i’m alive(at least living)

tell me it’s just another dream i need to wake up from..

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the notebook.

song playing :chasing cars -snow patrol
reflective/deep in thought

We’ll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don’t need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
I don’t quite know
How to say
How I feel
Those three words
Are said too much
They’re not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we’re told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that’s bursting into life

Let’s waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we’re told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that’s bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they’re all I can see

I don’t know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3am2em-PxaY]

-videoclip from movie “the notebook”
would you lie with me and just forget the world?

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fly me to the moon..

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vg04J7lpvGU]

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alive

i can feel my body slowly breaking down
sailing,duties,more sailing and a whole lot of i don’t know what
reckon today’s MC was in line for quite a while now..
time to rest my body says..

the last couple of weeks have been well,tiring
but by the grace of God i still haven’t toppled.

so now i shall go get my much needed rest.
some things take time.
others you just know.
 

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tears

when i saw her my eyes welled up with tears,
the person that lay in the bed before me,
my grandmother..
suddenly the sounds of my relatives in the hospital ward started to fade
i was back in my room,my granny calling out to me,
i didn't like it,not one bit,yet now every fibre of my wishes through all the pain she's going through
she know it's me standing in front of her.
i thought being able to book out early was a good thing,(well it was in some sense)
then i heard the news,what's worse is that she only has a few days to live,
so the doctors say
i refuse to believe,
no way.
if only,
if only she could call out to me once again like she used to.
scenes of her being there as i grew up began to flood my mind,
no no tears i told myself,
during the trip back i could hold myself back
i was grandma's fav grandson
yet all these years i've been to busy with myself to seriously care for her,
Lord pls don't let me be too late..

and like the breaking of the banks so did the water from my eyes pour forth

real men cry
they just don't let others see it.

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